Cockroach Words

My mother-in-law was fond of language.  She showed this by editing her copy of the New Yorker magazine with red pen; she also edited letters from her daughter-in-law and granddaughters, lesser stuff, with red pen.  When she heard people use new words and constructions she would huff.  I said at these times “Oh, come on, Virgina! – vox populi! – vox populi!”

My arteries now must be as hard as hers were then.  I cringe these days at many new words and to heck with vox populi!  I call the worst of these words cockroach words. 

 

The most disgusting word to me is gift used as a verb.  It is so ugly.  Gifted kills the music and joy of gave, and giving,  It sounds so smug, so pretentious.  Consider the folk song “I gifted my love a cherry that had no stone; I gifted my love a chicken that had no bone . . .”  The season of gifting is galloping toward us and I intend to stick my fingers in my ears until it’s over.

Signage makes my cockroach-detecting antennae quiver.  Why doesn’t anyone talk about signs anymore?

Ox complains about perfectly good records being renamed track records.  I admit that my cockroach antennae hadn’t even twitched at track records until he pointed them out.

Should you accept it, dear reader, your job is to stamp out cockroach words, I know you have your own list.  If I use one of your cockroaches, let me know and I’ll step on it.